He’d started to dread waking up in the dreams. It always ended up being the same, the brief moments of thinking that Matern and Emissary were waiting just up the stairs and out the door from him, but most days, it happened within two minutes. Today, it was shorter. Only around 1:03 minutes, judging by the clock. Sometimes, he’d wake up, only to watch them disappear. These were the ones that he hoped for. That he would just turn around and they’d have vanished. Obviously, he would still scream for them, and sob and cry, and any pain and upset that he caused himself wasn’t real, and he’d be perfectly restored by the time he woke up again. The worst ones were the ones that replayed, over and over, different ways of killing the ones he loved. Methods even they feared.
Strawberry, his poor shell cracked and weathered, his hammer being held by unfamiliar people, surrounded by stronger, taller figures, each taking hits at him, with his own hammer.
Matern, her lifeless body thrown over a metal table, parts of her body replaced with prosthetics, and the other parts taken for trophies, but there’s too much blood… she can't have survived.
Emissary, at home in the void of the Abyss, when they feel the fear of drowning, and all of a sudden, can't breathe as water rushes through their lungs, and are crushed like a lacewing in the grip of a mantis.
Each time, he had to rescue them. And every time, he failed. He was always so close. Just moments from the surface with Emissary. Just seconds from the door with Matern. Just metres away with Strawberry. And they all died.
Sometimes, he was just reminded of what it was like to be alone, and without people to care about. He wandered through the valley at these times. He’d visit the marketplace, the school, GUILD offices, the pool, people’s houses, the Gossip Girl HQ, even the Squanor. All these places, and he’d think about the people who were here. What they meant to each place, what soul they put into the construction, what life they brought, what pain they felt. But now, it was just him.
The sky was grey. It nearly always was. It scared him, when it wasn’t, because that meant that it was different- and that something had changed. But he was growing used to this. He’d had it in training, after all. After any amount of torture, you’ll eventually adapt and learn about what you can do to move past the pain and recover. Or, your torturer will find a more efficient way of torturing you.
He was confident that he’d actually wake up alive. He had to, for all of them. Otherwise, all those promises he’d made- defending Matern from Blighton, protecting Emissary and their soul, and never leaving Strawberry… All those would be broken.